Time to grow...

 It's been busy. 

And not busy in a nine to five kind of way. But busy in a 24/7 kind of way.

Sleep has me working through things. Dreams are vivid as ever. I'm always left with a feeling. A singular feeling. 

There's no describing them. It'd be like trying to describe every movement, sight, smell, thought, conversation, you had yesterday. 

It's not something that bothers me. I know I'm working on acceptance a common feature in my dreams. It's amazing when you're having a dream and you feel that full acceptance of self. 

My subconscious must have known how bad I needed it. Needed an example...monkey see, monkey feel, monkey experience, monkey do. lol

Working to trust. Trust, trust, trust. My twisted nuerons don't always enjoy it; letting people see me. Relaxing. Is contentment safe? I know how to bring the chaos. I know how to survive that chaos. That's familiar. But contentment....anyone got a manual?

I was asked recently in a dream by many many doors, of all things, what I wanted and I couldn't think of a single thing. I told them I wanted healing for someone else. 

I then thought about it today. What do I want? Well I like growing things. I'm already doing that though. I like spending time in nature. I have a little wild area outback, where I grow fruits. So, check. I love spending time with my kids. I do that especially when we are outside in the nature growing the things. I love pets. We have pets. I love star gazing. We have a telescope...etc, etc. 

It wasn't till I realized I had everything I wanted that I came to the conclusion I just have to be grateful and let life grow from there. It's no longer about what I want, but how I grow. How to accept, how to let go, how to push that envelope. It's grow time. Time to flex the art muscles and challenge my practice with adding a bit of magick to it. Time to combine the two in ways I haven't yet.

Gonna go now. Lots more growing to do......