So many thoughts. Not sure what to start off with.
The onslaught of triggers have quieted. Sleep is better. I've found my balance. I'm thanking my mentors and my sheer determination. I never thought that when I opened these doors within that I would find, not only one, but four guides that have been with me teaching me. Much like four Mothers.
It's been a simple and hard road. Somedays this remembering of self has been like a flower blooming and other days, it quakes, there's a shattering of elements, an explosion, and then underneath the wreckage is "fresh skin." Kinda like when a snake finally scrapes and writhes free from old skin.
What's being molded? My new perspective. What am I shedding? That which does not serve me, old pardigms that I've grown out of. Who am I past all of what I understand and know? Somewhere my greater soul reels me closer to the answer.
Still working with the fire element. The next part of my journey is a sacred one. I can't go into details but I can say that it has to do with the flame. Throwing another log on that "will" within.
Still a Bard. Still learning, and through it all still moving. Slowing down is ok but becoming stagnant is like spiritual suicide. Another lesson I've learned is to practice until the magickal brain is so well worked you can't see and comprehend without it. It becomes apart of your language, your thinking, your movement, your work and your "walk."
Something I'm doing and will continue, is to write. What a Bard I am, eh?
Writing is a great way to weave will into something tangible; to attract what it is the sigil is charged for. One of the reasons I love sigil magick. I was inspired to use sigil magick after hearing a talk by one of my favorite comic book writers, Grant Morrison. Gotta love those artistic chaos magicians.
Another artist that has inspired me a lot is Alan Moore. I was first introduced to his work through a professor of mine (thank you Jon). You can learn a lot through magicians by their art.
Of course there are many comic writers that have inspired me but these two were the first to catch my attention.
Anyway, I'm enjoying the journey. Even in those PTSD moments...
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