I did the fire blessing ritual. I love fire. Ever since I was a kid. I loved seeing things consumed by this dance of heat and destruction. I think this would speak to the conditions of my environment. I remember when I was a kid sitting in my room and secretly lighting things on fire. Things I used to hold dear. I figured the less I had, the less pain I would experience. Maybe if I didn’t take up to much room, maybe if I wasn’t so expensive, maybe if I gave them all my piggy bank, maybe if I wasn’t too much, I wouldn’t be left alone, not knowing where the Matron of my family was, maybe I wouldn’t be left behind because I didn’t need anything, and I didn’t have anything so it wouldn’t be messy. Fire was the ceremonial way to purge. Oh the mind of an eight year old.
The use of fire has changed for me throughout the years. When teenagedom hit it introduced me to nicotine and marijuana. It built connections to others, and at that point I don’t think I cared whether it was healthy or not because I wasn’t alone.
Now in the thick of adulthood with a healthy curiosity as to the true nature of the element, it’s teaching me about what I can and cannot control. It’s teaching me about transformation. And the lessons keep unfolding, or rather slapping me in the face. Lol.
Last night's ritual reminded me that while I can control my reactions, I cannot contain the outcome of my actions. Consequence, results, outcomes, culminations, reverberations, whatever I want to call it or how it applies to me...it’s uncontrollable. This is what it means for me when I say life is uncontrollable. I create therefore I should expect results of some sort. It applies for manifestation. I can say I want something, and I can work to make it happen but the “how” of it unfolding isn’t up to me. That’s why the brand phrase just do it is more accurate than I ever thought it was. You just move and space moves with you. All you really have to do is to feel and act. It might feel like swimming through molasses sometimes but movement is movement and as long as your heart wants it and your movements are inline with your heart as you move towards it, it’ll be there.
Last night's fire blessing also taught me about transformation. It was the perfect lesson really. First off I should let you know I failed in building my fire. Lol. It took me a couple times eventually I got somewhat of a fire but all in all it was hard. I can build a bonfire no problem but building something small in a small cauldron and keeping it going is hard. Transformation is hard. It can be messy, it reminds me of birth which is also fiery, messy, and not without friction. Transformation can feel a lot like friction, which can be pleasurable or like nails slowly grinding along a chalkboard. Transformation, it’s a necessity. You couldn’t have life without transformation. Transformation of the ovum into an embryo, transformation of light energy into chemical energy, etc. And ultimately what you have is a change that has happened within. It’s not even finished there because once the inner world transforms, the outer world follows suit. So it is the inner creating the outer, a kind of on earth as it is in “heaven.” Phew I managed to type that without combusting. lol. Heaven being the all that is within us and earth being the molded form of the inner worlds transformation.
And it’s always changing like fire does, with it’s heated dance of destruction, transformation and creation.
Fire and creation…..WHAT?! Just check out the white spotted long horned beetle, they will recycle a burnt forest, by eating through the blackened logs, creating more of their own and turning the once charred forest into soil.
Anyway, it’s in the duality of the fire element that I’m learning...a lot. I’m looking forward to this next week to see what else unfolds as a result of this blessing. Hopefully I don’t get burned. lol.
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